Ok, so this might be far too long as im feeling the need to vent and get things off my chest. If you read all the way to the end of this, then its appreciated

Im 18 and i have suffered with clinical depression for around 4 years now. Alongside the depression, ive suffered with a social anxiety disorder which brought on crippling panic attacks. For about a year it was so bad, i hardly ever went out.

Ive tried just about every anti-depressant you can get, ive gone through years of therapy, ranging from seeing a counsellor to cognitive behavioural therapy (which cost £60 a session and quite frankly, i found it disturbing). My GP recommended that i have psychoanalytic therapy, long term. But this is by no means cheap and not easy to come by! The Mental Health Service in the UK needs drastic improvement, the government needs to step up and make vast changes.

Im currently taking Prozac, have been weined off of it twice before, but in my personal experience, coming off it was torture. Not only did i feel suicidal once again, but i felt like i was going literally insane. So docs put me back on straight away and id be mellowed out once again.

Thats the thing with Prozac…for me it makes me feel good and positive and sometimes, makes me feel like the person i dream of really being…but it also numbs everything out. everything thats real.I hate the fact i cant really feel anything…not the raw emotions you feel when your depressed. I guess its a love/hate relationship i share with this one little pill.

Due to looooooong waiting lists for treatment & support, a lot of the time ive had to "heal" myself. Which, in my eyes, is no bad thing. Its where soul-searching comes in. Depression has taken so much from me…I had to drop out of high school and take exams at home, tried out college and failed at that and now…Well, im still a little lost in life. Not entirely sure what direction to turn to, but i know i’ll get there in the end…

Depression has also given me a lot back. It doesnt define me, but its helped shape me into the person i am today and its opened my eyes to how other people suffer in life.

I guess at the end of this rant/babble/load of rubbish/whatever you want to call it…the main point is that depression is an illness, not a weakness.

Dont give up. There’s always hope if you can just hold onto it.

Technorati Tags: amp, anti depressant, clinical depression, cognitive behavioural therapy, counsellor, drastic improvement, gp, love, mental health service, panic attacks, personal experience, prozac, psychoanalytic therapy, raw emotions, relationship, social anxiety disorder, soul searching, waiting lists

My boyfriend and I were driving today when a little tiny papillon walked in front of our car, so I got out and grabbed it because it wouldn’t move and we didn’t want anyone else to hit it either.

So what do I do? I don’t want to take it to the pound because it is a popular expensive dog and I am afraid that someone will claim it just because it’s cute, not because it’s actually their dog.

Also their was no collar, but how much does it cost to search for a microchip? He is VERY well taken care of.

Also in my town I believe it is illegal to post signs. So would putting small notices on people’s door be a good idea?

I have two dogs and I know the love for animals and I want someone to find their dog, I would hate for them to not get him back.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Technorati Tags: animals, love, microchip, papillon, signs, two dogs

I saw this dress on Say Yes To The Dress and I am in love with it. I know it’s from past seasons…like 2007/2008, so I realize it’s out of date, but it’s exactly what I’m looking for for my 2011 wedding. The trouble is, you have to be a member of the Kleinfeld website to get more information on the dress, so I just searched via Google Images and found the dress, but there’s no information about what the style number or name of the dress is, let lone the price and where to get it.
I figure it will be impossible to find on the designer site (I already looked) to purchase since it’s from a past season, but I wouldn’t be bothered to buy it from a former bride, and I wouldn’t mind buying a replica, depending on how close it could be to the original. (Now, don’t start in on how replica’s use cheaper fabric and lesser quality, because for some people, that may be true, but I’m not a fabric snob, so it would not bother me).
Anyone have any advice…??

http://manolobrides.com/images/2009/11/Pnina-Tornai-11470-large.jpg

Also..I would love to hear feedback on this dress. I am going to have family as well as friends at my wedding including parents, grandparents, aunts and cousins, and while none of us are a TRADITIONAL or conservative bunch, I definately don’t want to offend anyone. In my opinion, if I can wear a bathing suit in front of these people without offending them, this dress should be acceptable. Am I wrong to assume that?
**Yes I realize a wedding is no place for a bathing suit/bikini, but on any other occassion I would wear this, should I worry about crossing a line BECAUSE of the occassion, or is it acceptable like I am thinking?

Technorati Tags: aunts, bathing suit, bikini, cousins, fabric, google, google images, grandparents, love, occassion, parents, pnina tornai, style number

Three years ago I asked my boyfriend to stop using the type of porn he was using. the girls were all young…VERY young. There weren’t any ages listed but I could tell they were teens and most not 18. He said he would take it all off of his computer. We were very in love and had sex about 3x a day. About a yr and a half later I came across more very young porn. Some titles actually had ages, 16-20. I lost it! These are children! I explained that I was molested and this was a very serious personal issue, that I could not accept. His response was that the girls are absolutely not that young and I was F*king CRAZY! The proof I showed him did me no good, he said it just came along with his downloads for amateur porn. I know he’s searching amateur porn just to get these young teens videos and pics, most of which are submitted by x boyfriends. He says he doesn’t like real "legal" porn because it’s so fake. Well, he said if it was going to cost our relationship he would stop. Here we are three years later and I just caught him again…teen "amateur" porn. Once again, he promised to quit. He is not sexually deprived, what is going on with him? Why does he have to use this kind of porn? Why is it so hard for him to stop? I’m so emotionally broken over this I don’t think I can give him a third chance. Any input to help me understand this behavior would be great. One more thing…He absolutely INSISTS that these girls are all at least 18. he can’t seriously be that dumb! Can he??
Once again…this question is for MATURE people with MATURE responses. And those who know and understand that teen porn is illegal as well as quite sick.

Technorati Tags: amateur porn, boyfriends, downloads, f king, love, one more thing, personal issue, proof, relationship, teen porn, these girls, third chance, young teens

I’m opening a baked goods delivery business in my town. It is a small area with only two other towns that are close that I will deliver to so first off I don’t need for people to be able to search me out on the net. The other things I need are the ability to put in an order form and a view my cart area. I also want customers to have the ability to pay at the site using Paypal. I’d love to have a very low cost or no cost web hosting site that is simple to use since my needs are few. Thanks for your help in advance.

Technorati Tags: baked goods delivery, cart, delivery business, love, thanks for your help