So this past September, i lost my job. i worked at a retail dollar store and after months of drag-on work i got tired of it and it started to show. At first, i came to work early everyday. when i started comming late more often, my boss insisted that i get my shit straight and be prompt on my arrivals. So i tightened up a little bit but not for too long; unfortunately i got more lazy and at the time i just moved in with my girlfriend who live miles across town. with the money i had made i beleived as long as got up early enough, i would make it to work on time by taking the bus. on some days my girlfriend would allow me to use her car and on others i would take the bus. I became more lazy than before, plus i began to lose the will to work at the dollar store. mornings on in i would wake up and drag my feet all because i didnt want to go to work but one day that caught up to me. i woke up, left late, clocked in late; and through the middle of the shift the boss called me to his office. Now at the time i had just enrolled in school and the boss had made arrangements to fit my schedule so he felt there was no excuse that i could not get in on time, and i agreed, ashamed and very excepting of what my fate held. i was terminated deemed re-hirable in one year.
in this time of my life i still make decisions that effect others around me. and i called myself trying to do better and it even took my girlfriend to get on my back bout finding a job. i was discouraged and still lazy. i feel i can do better while looking for a job but one thing that grinds my gears is the "work history." for some reason i constantly fill in my dollar store position and i never fail to list how ive been terminated. i honestly dont know if something like that will prevent me from getting a job but my girlfreind belives it very much so will. im starting to cost people money because of my decisions. Today, i am tenacious about finding a job/career and i have been taking steps to make myself look exceptionally qualified on my resume. Despite my efforts, she is getting the backlash day in and day out for my choices. Situatuins when i need some sort of money, interviews and job searched that call for the use of her car because i dont have money for the bus. My past boss sat down with me and told me if i ever wanted anything in life that i would have to go hard for it. my motivaton was not present at all and my priorities were scrambled and pulverized. i was horrible with my money and was afraid to taste real responsibility. i would of never known that that was a complicating form of selfishness. i learned a lesson that day and for some reason, i felt that if i werent terminated, i never would have. being the person that i am i try my hardest to learn from my mistakes even if i make them over and over.
i am at my most pitifull state in life and im turning 21 this tuesday. it is trully a shame that i need my mother because i screwed myself in my first time in college. it is a shame that i would need my girlfriend for everything else i may need; such as food, shelter and transportation. im trying to make to smartest decisions in life and i cant now because of the ones i made this past September. my gf is already stressed enough and i feel horrible to know i am killing our relationship because of what i did. she always told me not to fill in the work history mentioning my termination. and everytime i do it anyways. i told her i want to be honest to any possible employer and that irritates her to no end. she is currently balancing life, school and her one year old son. i feel awfull. and at the same time i believe i will be employed soon. she strongly encourages me to not fill in that employment history and instead list the busser work i did in a resyuraunt for 2 months in 2008. this situation is terribly stressfull, and more on her part aparently because she footing the bill if i need to be some where. there are many other thing included but its not nessassary to list them, just assume. the frustration is overwhelming. she has given me a date at which i should have a job or else, pack up and leave, shamed and with zero dignity, back to my mothers.
id like to believe i am a good person. i feel wrong sometime when i try to do things right. i feel im not as mature as i feel i SHOULD be and that is frustrating to no end. i feel like im trapped. i could even recieve financial aid for my classes, i cant drop my classes and i owe over 14 hundred bones. im jobless relying on my girlfriend and my last bit of self-respect. as a kis i never did much right. i still remember my first toddler day dream– im the same till this day. i wish i was normal. this is too heavy for me. my mother told me i had the world: no felonies, no kids, im young and healthy. when it finally hit me it took someone else to realise that i, myself was depressed. leaving my girlfriend would break my heart, she motivated me to want to even go to school. moving back with my mothe
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Its even in Amazon, E-bay and through Google search. I have tried promoting my book. I found my book listed on many websites of different countries, but no international sales so far, but now I worry that there might be something wrong. My book does`t cost so much money, It costs a little bit more than 10$ and much less than . I think www.lulu.com is a trustworthy website, since it has trust seals, etc, and it might be listed in the www.bbb.com, but I don`t know why I still don`t sell anything or much, only 1 or 2 people a long long time ago, and yet it appears everywhere around internet :S . HELP !!!!!