Actually, this is my homework, but the text is really really difficult for me to understand (+ I am a zero in policy -_-), so, I would be very thankful if someone could help me at least a bit.
Here is the text:
What price a prince?
When underground trains pull into Green Park station, the electric Tannoy recently began announcing: "Alight here for Buckingham Palace". This is very considerate of them, but I don’t think the Queen has started using the tube just yet. On Thursday, Buckingham Palace proudly boasted that the royal family had halved its expenditure over the past 10 years, although most of that was probably achieved when Fergie’s credit card was cut in two.
The Queen’s treasurer even went so far as to claim that the royal family now actually gives more money than it spends. Those poor royals must be getting really fed up with subsidising our luxury lifestyle. Prince Philip must keep seeing ordinary people in their three-bedroom semis and saying: "Why do they need that expensive Ford Minder in the car port? You know, in Sweden the subjects cycle everywhere." "Well, I know these ordinary families are expensive," says the Queen, "but they do do a lot for charity. And think of all that money they bring in tourism…"
Sir Michael Peat also listed dozens of cutbacks that the royal family had made over the past year, while insisting that the search for savings would continue. Sir Michael has the job description of the "keeper of the privy purse". Well that’s one economy that could be made for a start – why does the Queen need a purse in the privy, let alone someone whose job it is to keep it? Maybe they still have those old-fashioned lavatories where you have to pay a penny to get into the cubicle, and because Her Majesty doesn’t carry money, we’re paying fifty grand a year for this bloke to stand outside the royal privy all day with a purse full of old one penny coins.
This week’s press conference was part of a sustained PR effort to open the royal accounts and justify the huge amounts that are still spent every year. Closer scrutiny of the royal finances had been long overdue. For example, it was discovered that helicopters were being used for journeys of only a few miles – such as going to the bottom of the garden.
Use of the royal train was costing £30,000 a trip, although it was only £28,000 if they travelled after 9.30am. And less money is now given to the Ogilvys for Lady Marina, since it was discovered that she was in fact a car that they’d bought from British Leyland in the 1970s
"No," said the Queen, "we’re going to have cut back on non-essentials." At which point Prince Edward packed his bag and left. The rest of them sat round the kitchen table and all agreed to try to find a way to make savings.
They let go of the footmen who took the corgis for a walk by carrying them in a sedan chair. But even after they’d cancelled the subscription to the Sky Sports Dressage Channel and agreed to stop buying What Castle magazine, they were still £30m over. The Queen thought she could save a few more pence if she simply handed her mum the telegram for reaching 100, but it was still not enough.
Then she looked at her phone bill and realised that she could update her "friends and family" list, as she doesn’t ring those numbers in Nepal any more.
Maybe the only way to make any real dent in the cost of the monarchy is to introduce a public finance initiative. This is supposed to be the solution to everything else, so I don’t see why the royal family should be spared. Private companies could be brought in to run the royal family more efficiently. Foreign dignitaries attending state banquets would have to queue up and opt for Chicken McNuggets or Big Mac and fries.
This will never happen of course; this is the British royal family we are talking about, not just some school or hospital. Funny how it’s only the things that we really value that we can’t afford to pay for.
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